Stay Above the Politics
For those who have been in sports for a while, we have all heard it before:
“He is the coach’s son… that’s why he’s on the 1st line.”
“She is the daughter of the guy who donated money so she will always play before my kid.”
Or my favorite…
“My kid would have made the pros – if it wasn’t for politics and lack of opportunity.”
Politics are a thing. Despite efforts to curb outside influence on teams, politics are here to stay. Plenty of articles are written about why it happens and how we all as a group need to be better – but despite our good intentions it is just a part of youth sports. Everyone wants what is best for their kid and in a competitive environment we all will figure out ways to get the upper hand.
In the short term, it pays off. In the long term, the cream rises to the top when mommy and daddy’s influence no longer matters.
So what do we do? Let the politics run its course. Let those who engage spin their bullshit. Stay out of it and focus on enjoying the process of your child achieving each milestone. And keep the following in mind before arguing with Karen that her bringing cupcakes influences playing time.
It doesn’t matter.
At the levels parents influence is most effective the amount of playing time, what team or any other factor doesn’t matter. At all. No one is watching or quite frankly cares outside of the people directly involved with the team. The fact your son scored 70 points while a squirt isn’t going to mean shit to a scout when they are 18. Stay out of the trap that the outcome in the games is going to dictate the future of your child. Focus on how they are progressing. If the environment is not allowing him or her to be a better player, find somewhere they can be.
Players are eventually exposed or discovered
The next argument will be my child is in high school and there is still favoritisms towards certain kids. True. Politics extend into the HS/Junior level because parents are still involved, but the difference is if your child is impacted by that, they aren’t good enough. The best rise to the top no matter what. As the competition gets better and the games actually start to mean something, the best will always be put in a position to play. Those who are just ok or not good enough will be left jockeying for position.
Three things happen as players get older – they are exposed, discovered or validated. Players who were the best growing up and continue to be the best at the next levels are stamped as the next best thing. They are validated. Players who were being propped up by their parents but aren’t good enough, are exposed then eventually forgotten. Those who were overlooked but worked behind the scenes will be discovered.
If you are good enough, they will find you. If you are not, they will forget you.
Excuses, excuses, excuses
Now, for those parents getting involved in the gossip that their kids are getting short changed due to politics are a problem as well. There could be the chance that just maybe your kid isn’t good enough. And calling out politics gives an excuse to hide that fact. Which not only impacts your child’s playing career, but in life. What happens when they get beat for a promotion later in life? Is it because the other person “bought” their way past them for whatever reason?
Giving this excuse life sets up the player to not look at themselves critically in order to improve. And this will last beyond their playing careers and make them bitter at the world.
Unnecessary stress, ruins the experience
Outside of the competition, it flat out ruins the joy in playing. Always bickering and complaining about other parents or coaches sucks. Breaks up friendships between kids because you don’t like Barry for being friends with the coach. Remember where you are. It’s youth sports. It’s for the kids to learn a skill and have fun. If they are lucky enough to be good and make it a career, it will happen on its own.
Think about it this way – if a child has the ability to succeed and grows to love the sport, things will take care of themselves. But if we as parents make the experience miserable by flexing at each other it could push the child away from the sport, and that rare gift of talent they were given will never be realized.
And that’s on us.
